General Manners: Feign Delight

Suburban Chicago, July 1962. There's a box from Madigan's, so it looks like someone brought a gift of clothing to my birthday party.

Dinner-Party Reunion

Oregon, Wisconsin, October 2015. Our hosts picked some beauties from their garden.

We toast, and then we dance.

Suburban Chicago, December 31, 1961. The party goers interrupt the dancing to share a toast.

They danced in the Rec Room, too.

Suburban Chicago, December 31, 1961. After dinner, the guests moved to the Rec Room. The Rec Room's tiled floor was good for dancing. Things changed after we carpeted that area.

It's time to dance.

Suburban Chicago, December 31, 1965. Lily and her dance partner know it's easy to dance in the basement because the basement floor isn't carpeted.

Waiting for the pageant.

Melrose Park, Illinois, December 1963. I sit patiently with the other Lithuanian-school students while Father Stanley talks with the parents.

Dessert Service

Suburban Chicago, January 1967. The hostess, Lily, turns her attention to the last part of the Sunday meal.

Backyard Picnic

Suburban Chicago, July 1969. My Mom's best friend, Donna, and Donna's husband, Vytenis, host a barbeque. Mom brought her knitting bag.

I meant that as a compliment.

Suburban Chicago, January 1970. My Mom and Lily chat with Jadzė D's husband. The fellow had "had a wicked sense of humor and was the master of the backhanded compliment." When he took me out for a dance at our wedding reception, he observed—in mid tango—how relieved everyone was that I was a pretty bride because I had been such a pathetically homely child.

 

The trio here sits in the Rec Room of my friend Kris's childhood home.

A Serious Toast

Suburban Chicago, December 31, 1969. Everyone gathers in Donna's living room to hear our enclave's patriarch deliver the toast.

My friend Kris—Donna's daughter—and I have noisemakers in our mouths.

The best part about those parties was the dancing.

Suburban Chicago, December 31, 1965. The basement floor is perfect for a spin.

Party Table

Suburban Chicago, December 31, 1965. The Lithuanians from our suburban enclave gather for another New Year's celebration.

It's the weekend.

Suburban Chicago, December 25, 1961. It looks like everyone is having a good time.

It's picnic season again.

Near Geneva, Illinois, June 1968. Here's another image from that fashion-forward Lithuanian-school picnic. Both Mom and her best friend, Donna, have brought their gold, vinyl knitting bags.

The woman on the left is Lily, and the lady on the right—wearing a dress—is the "Other Irene."

The Annual Commemoration

Suburban Chicago, February 1964. My Parents' friend Lily addresses the members of our suburban, Lithuanian community at the Independence Day "Minejimas." This was the same "Minejimas" at which I recited poetry.

The woman with her back to the camera—and wearing the matronly hair bun—is my paternal Grandmother, Tatjana.

Sunday Gathering

Suburban Chicago, January 1967. Members of our suburban Lithuanian enclave gather for another Sunday-afternoon dinner. You may recognize people in this snapshot: Vytenis, the husband of my Mom's best friend Donna, looks at the camera on the left; Donna leans toward the table on the right; Lily stands in the back, watching over her guests, and; my Mom sits in the back, on the right, looking at the other guests.

No creases for Irene.

I promised yesterday to post another view of the 1963 New Year's Eve table.

Suburban Chicago, December 31, 1963. Lily offers someone sugar—or just a sugar lid—for coffee. My Mom's best friend Donna—in the center wearing the dress with the illusion neckline—watches. There's a "Reišutinis Tortas" (Nut Torte) on the table; my paternal Grandmother, Tatjana likely baked it. It was a dry torte made with hand-ground walnuts. Tatjana soaked the layers with a rum syrup, spread lingonberries for the filling, and dressed the torte with a penuche icing. I longed for a moist, spongy, frosted American-style cake.

Do you see the little ashtray with the ceramic tile inlays? We used to make those. Hot plates and ashtrays were practical objects for the popular tile projects.

When we were looking last night at the photo I posted yesterday of this table, Mr. Irene and I noticed that the damask tablecloth had creases. Tatjana carefully ironed tablecloths after she washed them. But I think she folded the tablecloths, stored them in a drawer, and then took them right out of the drawer—without further ironing—when she wanted to use them. Mr. Irene wondered if the creases didn't make an imprint on compulsive-neatnik-little-Irene because—since we've been married—I always store tablecloths on coat hangers in a closet (never folded in a drawer), and I obsessively iron them (sometimes right on the table) before we finish arranging the place settings.

The New Year's Eve Table

I wrote last year about some of the rigid food customs Lithuanians observe. Although the Kūčios traditions are the least flexible, other rules govern the every-day and holiday tables.

We observed some New Year's Eve guidelines. Guests usually arrived later in the evening—say between 8:00 and 9:00. The hostess served food at around 10:00 pm. The idea here was to keep people dining until midnight arrived so that the party wouldn't drag on and people wouldn't drink too much.

The New Year's Eve meal consisted of cold foods. This wasn't an attempt to lessen the hostess's load—like it was on the day of Kūčios. Instead, the cold meal acknowledged that the guests were eating a late-night "snack," not a substitute for dinner. The meal therefore focused on "užkandžiai," or what the Russians would call "zakuski" or "first courses."

My Mom and my paternal Grandmother, Tatjana, always prepared "New Year's Eggs" when it was our turn to host the party. Tatjana also made her "Babos Vinegretas." Because it was New Year's Eve, Tatjana decorated that salad with lump crabmeat. Sliced hams, roast beef, and lingonberries joined the table. We often also served "Košeliena," or pork head cheese (we served it, but I never ate it). Sometimes we had "Amerikoniškas Shrimp Cocktail;" I didn't like horseradish then, so I would not eat the cocktail sauce.

A day or so before New Year's Eve, Dad drove down to one of the Lithuanian bakeries in Marquette Park to buy sweets for the party. He'd pick up Poppy Seed Strudel, a Nut Strudel, perhaps a torte—if Tatjana didn't make her Nut Torte or her Pavlova Torte—and some chocolates. If we were feeling especially festive, Dad would head up to the North Side and bring back goodies from Lutz's Pastry Shop. A sweets table from Lutz's signaled good taste.

Suburban Chicago, December 31, 1968. Mom's coordinating the dessert course while Vytenis, the husband of Mom's best friend Donna, makes a clever toast.

A View of the Table, 1963

Suburban Chicago, December 31, 1963. It's time for my Parents again to host the New Year's Eve party for our suburban colony of Lithuanians. The redecoration of the house is completed, and a heavy, Spanish chandelier now hangs over the dining room table. There's that fruit bowl again. Mom hasn't bought "fine china" yet, so the guests eat off of the dishes she collected with receipts during a Jewel Food Store promotion. The coffee pot had a little holder for a candle warmer underneath it. The flower-like pieces on the table—with the gold stems and white, ceramic buds—are candle holders. You can tell it's an extraordinary day because there is a box of potato chips on top of the refrigerator.* 

Lily—wearing the black dress—talks with the Other Irene. Behind the Other Irene is the plastic plant. The fellow on the left was not a frequent visitor, but he's sitting next to my Mom's best friend, Donna. You can see her left hand, holding the cigarette.

I'll post a photo of another view of this table tomorrow.

*I can't remember the brand name of that 1957 refrigerator, but it lasted over 32 years. Mom replaced it only because the handle fell off, and no one carried that part any longer.

Christmas Manners: Catch up before you clean up.

Suburban Chicago, December 31, 1962. Mom relaxes with Lily and and another friend. Soon the women will be be washing dishes.