On the Menu

My paternal Grandmother, Tatjana, did most of the cooking when I was growing up because my Mom worked a full-time job. Mom liked to bake, and she usually pitched in with holiday party preparations. But Tatjana was in charge of the everyday meals.

Tatjana also loved to entertain, and little satisfied her more than a Sunday party. Her food was the center of attention at these gatherings, and she stepped up her cooking game whenever guests arrived. We started out with zakuski: Russian appetizers. A homemade soup, often a chicken broth accompanied by meat of cabbage rolls, followed the zakuski. Although the main course usually consisted of a simple beef roast (well done, of course!!), Tatjana occasionally made Scalloped Potatoes and "Russian Cauliflower"—a cooked cauliflower covered with a sautéed mixture of breadcrumbs, onions, and parsley. Dessert often consisted of a Pavlova shell filled with vanilla ice cream and topped with defrosted, frozen strawberries in syrup. For holidays, Baba baked Babkas, a walnut torte, and—my least favorite food—poppy seed yeast roll.

All of this hard work rightly gave guests the impression that Tatjana was an amazing cook. On a day-to-day basis, however, her cooking was mediocre. Tatjana often made soup for dinner using a beef chuck roast. Once the soup was ready, she made a "brown sauce" for the meat and served that sauced, boiled beef as the main course—with a side of boiled potatoes. I hated that meal, but I loved it when she covered a boiled chicken from a chicken stock preparation with béchamel sauce and served that over rice. The meatloaf was dry. The cube steak was dusted in Lipton's French Onion Soup mix. Dessert was usually Jell-O. It seemed like a celebration when we had instant pudding instead of Jell-O.

Tatjana prepared spectacular Koldūnai, but she made them rarely. She never cooked the two Lithuanian signature dishes, Kugelis and Cepelinai.

The one "traditional" dish that Tatjana made was one I disliked intensely: Cabbage Rolls.* Tatjana mixed ground beef with rice, stuffed the leaves, and poured canned tomato soup over the rolls.

This week, I decided to overcome my dislike of Cabbage Rolls. Over the last few days, I created a hybrid Cabbage Roll recipe. Mom and I set it up this morning. We'll see if I like the Cabbage Rolls any more than when I was a little girl.

Suburban Chicago, Spring 1960. Tatjana looks tired after cooking. My high chair is behind her.

*Lithuanians call Cabbage Rolls "balandeliai," or "little doves." But Tatjana was Russian, and she did the cooking. So we called Cabbage Rolls by their Russian name, "Golubsti." We added the Lithuanian declination to the noun, of course, so the word became "Golubstai."

Eat like a grownup.

I mentioned earlier that Lithuanians, like many Europeans, entertain on Sundays.

My paternal Grandmother, Tatjana, loved to cook and socialize. She usually was the one who proposed having parties. My Mom often was less thrilled with the idea because she regularly was exhausted. Mom worked on Saturdays, and on Sunday mornings, she would do hospital rounds while Dad and I went to the zoo. When Mom returned from those rounds, she readied the house by dusting, cleaning bathrooms, and setting the dining room table for the mid-day party.

When the family hosted Sunday dinner, the children ate at a separate table in the kitchen. We sat at the dining table only on rare holidays, like Kūčios.

An easier entertaining alternative was to invite friends over for tea. We served tea in the living room, at the coffee table. Tatjana and Mom had special, embroidered tablecloths that they would use for the tea parties: "tea cloths." The guests would arrive in the late afternoon, and we would serve a variety of pastries. Tatjana often baked a yeasted coffee cake ("pyragas ant mielių"). I was disappointed by the yeast cakes because I wanted sweet, American cakes with heavy frosting and sugary flowers.

I nonetheless was thrilled when guests came to tea because I was not banished on those occasions to a children's table. My Parents instead allowed me to sit with the adults and eat like a grownup.

Even today, I love to entertain guests in the sunny living room. It's much more fun to graze around a coffee table than to eat at the dining table. If you've eaten at our coffee table, Mr. Irene and I hope you enjoyed the visit.

Suburban Chicago, April 1961. Mom, Tatjana, and I host Sunday tea. I sit in one of the painted chairs from the Rec Room play table. Mom has me dressed in red again, and she's wearing those red shoes!  There's little other color in the gray living room.

Mom tells me that red shoes were all the rage then.

Another Tea Party

My Dad indulged my little-girl whims. He gladly, for example, participated in my tea parties. Tea parties were fine practice for the real thing.

By the time we had this tea party, my Parents already had remodeled the Rec Room.

I think about my Dad often at this time of year.

Suburban Chicago, November 1966. Dad and I enjoy a Sunday tea in the Rec Room. We're sitting on the relatively new couch, a Danish modern number with rust, gold, and brown stripes. The sofa was almost identical to this one. It had two matching chairs, similar to the ones posted here.

Father Figure

My maternal Grandfather, Jake, usually was at the center of every party. This photo shows Jake joining another Sunday get-together at the Seligenstadt Displaced Persons camp. Most Lithuanian Displaced Persons were young—many were in their early twenties and thirties. Jake, who was fifty-two years old here, seemed like an old, father figure to many in the camp.

Seligenstadt, Germany, 1948. Jake's facial expression suggests that he's removed a bit from the spirit of this party. This photo again captures the Vytis, the Lithuanian coat of arms, hanging on the wall. There's also a modern telephone in the back of the room.

The party doesn't have to end at Midnight.

Suburban Chicago, January 1, 1962. Midnight has come and gone because there are streamers on the Rec Room floor. My Mom dances with Vytenis, the husband of her best friend Donna. On the television rests my beloved, stuffed dog that one Sunday disintegrated in the washing machine.

Here are two more images from this 1962 party. Mom later wore that dress again here.

They're cleaning up after the party.

Toronto, Ontario, Canada, January 1960. My Dad's twin sister, Jonė, and her husband, Kadis, engage in a Sunday chore: the post-party dishwashing.

Twentieth Anniversary

My Parents celebrated their twentieth-wedding anniversary shortly after they returned from San Francisco. They hosted a party to mark the occasion.

The anniversary bash differed from our family's usual entertaining because it took place in the evening, not on a Sunday afternoon. Guests arrived on a Saturday night in their finest fashions, ready to eat, drink, and dance.

Suburban Chicago, May 1968. We are ready for the guests to arrive. Mom wears a gold, silk dupioni dress that she sewed. This was the beginning of the wig era.

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Suburban Chicago, May 1968. After dinner, some of the guests enjoyed coffee in the living room.

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Suburban Chicago, May 1968. Other guests enjoyed drinks and smokes in the Rec Room. Hey! We've seen some of these same folks before.

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Suburban Chicago, May 1968. After dessert, we dance. Here, my Godfather takes me for a spin.

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Suburban Chicago, May 1968. People make tender toasts to my Parents. (There's the taxidermied Mountain Goat head popping out from behind my Godmother's hairdo.)

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Suburban Chicago, May 1968. Everyone is tired by the end of the night. My paternal Grandmother, Tatjana, is about to doze off. My Mom has opened the Rec Room door leading to the backyard; it's probably gotten pretty smoky inside.

Sunday Sendoff

Suburban Chicago, October 1983. My Parents hosted a small dinner party the week before I moved to Venice. I don't recall cooking for the occasion, but it looks like we served turkey, roast beef, "Cauliflower Polonnaise," baked potatoes, and salad.

Some of the guests—Vytenis, my Godmother, my Godmother's husband, and my Godmother's father—listen to a description of my plans.

Another Sunday-Afternoon Party

Rockford, Illinois, October 1962. We're back in Rockford, and tomorrow is a work day.

Entertained

Streetor, Illinois, April 1962. My Mom and my Godmother enjoy a Sunday-afternoon party.

Sunday Table

Toronto, Ontario, Canada, about 1949. Toronto Al's Parents finish an afternoon party with friends.

Thanks to Toronto Al for making this photo available to us.

Flower Fashions

Suburban Chicago, August 1962. The "Other Irene" poses for Dad at a Sunday-afternoon party.

We pose with our poodles.

After my Dad died, I returned to Ohio and finished up the Spring Semester. I then came back to Suburban Chicago and spent the summer with my Mom.

Suburban Chicago, August 1987. Mom and I sit in the living room with our respective poodles, Žulė and Meškė. Mom and I were on our way to a Sunday dinner party at the home of my Godmother.

Easter Manners: Enjoy the table.

Suburban Chicago, Easter Sunday, 1961. My paternal Grandmother, Tatjana, again enjoys hosting another party. She's seated at the dining room table with the mother of my Mom's Rockford friend and my Godmother's father. The decanter holds Tatjana's brew of citrus-flavored, milk liqueur. Ach! The tablecloth has creases.

Tatjana made a yeast Babka every Easter. The recipe used five egg yolks. On the table, you can see what Tatjana made with the leftover egg whites: a "Bizet Torte." A Bizet Torte consists of five or six layers of baked meringue disks, held together with coffee buttercream, and decorated with toasted almond slices. Although the Bizet Torte isn't as popular in Lithuania as a Napoleonas, it is a lot less labor intensive.

Latvians make Bizet Torte, too.

A Sunday Tea, to Celebrate a Birthday

The ladies got together to celebrate the seventieth birthday of my paternal Grandmother, Tatjana. The tea party featured cakes, coffee, cognac, and cherry liqueur. Tatjana used to cook up a batch of the super-sweet, cherry liqueur every year. It's the dark liquid in the crystal decanter.

A bottle of the liqueur usually lingered in the liquor cabinet for many years. The liqueur grew stronger, thicker, and browner.

Tatjana also made a citrus-flavored liqueur; its main ingredient was milk. That was tasty.

Suburban Chicago, November 1967. Tatjana raises a glass to my Dad, the photographer. My Dad's twin sister, Jonė, sits to Tatjana's left. My Mom is on the far right, in the foreground, and next to Mom is Mom's best friend, Donna. Mom is wearing her moccasin slippers.

Related by Marriage: An Afternoon with Friends

Marquette Park, Chicago, Illinois, January 1961. Mr. Irene's maternal Aunt Martha, on the left, chats with a friend during a Sunday afternoon party.

Related by Marriage: Party Table

Marquette Park, Chicago, Illinois, 1960. Wally—the husband of Mr. Irene's maternal Aunt Martha—enjoys the Sunday table. First-generation Lithuanians will recognize the items on the table: Kugelis, sauerkraut, sausage, cucumber Jell-O mold, trimmed radishes, tomatoes, and … Seagram's V.O. and ashtrays.

Framed

Toronto, Ontario, Canada, July 1964. My Toronto Cousin is ready to make a Sunday social callhttp://amberreunion.blogspot.com/2012/10/were-invited-to-afternoon-coffee-party.html.