The Knitting Circle

I often refer to my paternal Grandmother, Tatjana, as "Alpha Baba." Tatjana was a strong, aristocratic presence in the household. Her daughter-in-law, my Mom, may have been the breadwinner and certainly was the disciplinarian, but Tatjana "wore the pants."

Tatjana lived with my Parents from the time they emigrated to the United States until she died in 1974. Tatjana was the force that ran the household. Eastern European cultures tend to be matriarchal, and Russian families are run by supremely dominant matriarchs.

There was only one area in which Tatjana sometimes "alphaed" my Mom, and that was over the question of parties. Tatjana loved to entertain. Mom was too overworked to enjoy entertaining.

My Mom preferred to have quiet times with her friends. Ladies would come over to our house, and they would sit and knit with Mom. The "stitch and bitch" sessions usually took place on Thursdays, because that was the day my Mom did not go to the office. (Most doctors took Wednesdays off back then. Mom's partner—the senior physician in their practice—did not work on Wednesday, so Mom was off on Thursdays). The ladies sat in the corner of the living room, chatted, and knitted elegant 1960s-style suits and dresses.

A source of humor at our home was Tatjana's determination to participate in the knitting circle with the younger generation—even though Tatjana didn't knit. I have no recollection of these interludes, but my Mom remembers them vividly.

Suburban Chicago, February 1965. Tatjana sits off to the side, on the piano bench, but she's right in the middle of things. My Mom has her back to Tatjana. Mom's best friend, Donna, sits on the far right. Tatjana is sewing the apron of my first Lithuanian folkdress.