Thanks, and Bye!!

Verona, Wisconsin, October 31, 2012. Happy Halloween, Everybody.

Halloween Manners: Enjoy your costume.

Suburban Chicago, 1961. Even my beloved babysitter can't persuade me.

Halloween Manners: Share your work with your furry friend.

Suburban Chicago, October 1971. Gigi is curious. (I was getting ready for a party.)

Halloween Manners: Try on the costume before you head outside.

Suburban Chicago, October 1961. I didn't realize I'd be wearing the same costume next year.

Halloween Manners: Show the finished product.

Suburban Chicago, October 1966. I've carried the pumpkin downstairs to the Rec Room.

Halloween Manners: Be an attentive party hostess.

Suburban Chicago, October 1970. I host my Best Friend and our mutual classmate.

Halloween Manners: Gather your friends.

Toronto, Ontario, Canada, October 1961. My Toronto Cousin hosts a party.

Thanks to my Toronto Cousin for making this photo available to us.

Halloween Manners: Stay in character.

Suburban Chicago, October 1961. Mice don't pout.

Halloween Manners: Wear all of the costume's compontents.

Suburban Chicago, October 1964. The clown costume also had a mask.

Halloween Manners: Enjoy the party.

Suburban Chicago, October 1971. The holiday has tired my Best Friend and me.

Halloween Manners: Find an historical inspiration.

Suburban Chicago, October 1968. I dress as a woman of the Revolutionary War era. My paternal Grandmother, Tatjana, sewed the (green) garment, and I borrowed my Mom's cool 1960s wig.

Halloween Manners: Read the cultural cues.

One year, my high school sponsored a Halloween "sock hop." My closest friends and I still were too young to date, so most of us went to the dance in small groups. I invited my Best Friend. She attended a different high school, and I thought she would enjoying seeing my school.

The dance took place in the school's gymnasium. The school administration oversaw decoration of the space, and during the dance, the nuns permitted us to dim the gymnasium lights. A live band played music by Chicago and the Beach Boys.

Because this was a "sock hop," the school urged us to wear 1950s-inspired costumes to the dance.

This is where I encountered some "lost in translation" trouble. First-generation children of Displaced Persons sometimes didn't transition into American culture fluidly. For example, my family did not understand how different universities in the United States offer varying levels of prestige. They didn't see, for example, how a degree from the University of Chicago might look differently on a cv than a degree from a satellite campus of a state school. Similarly, when a relative won a Rhodes Scholarship, no one seemed to notice what potential that honor offered. Many related examples arose during my childhood. I remember watching my favorite cartoon, Fractured Fairytales, and repeating the end line of each episode, "And the moral of the story is …" My Mom became agitated because she thought I was commenting on ethics, and she found it inappropriate for a child to address "morals." Another example was that first-grade lunchbox. It was an adorable lunchbox, but it was not cool.

This cultural disconnect again came into play when I prepared my costume for the "sock hop." Most of my friends planned to wear poodle skirts, bobby socks, and saddle shoes. My family didn't understand the whole "fifties revival" thing; it wasn't on the radar screen—at all. My folks persuaded me that I shouldn't look like everyone else—and besides, why buy items to create an unoriginal costume? So, I instead borrowed pieces from ladies in the neighborhood—a wig, a cocktail dress, stilettos, and a mink stole—and went to the dance as that 1950s icon, Marilyn Monroe.

It was a disaster.

Suburban Chicago, 1973. Family members still laugh when they look at this photo.

Halloween Manners: Start with a plan.

Suburban Chicago, October 1967. It looks like I'll be carving the pumpkin this year.

Halloween Manners: Show your enthusiasm.

 

Suburban Chicago, October 1964. What did my family have in mind? I've always disliked clowns.

Halloween Manners: Be creative.

Suburban Chicago, October 1964. I made a cat mask in art class.

Halloween Manners: It's "pumpkin carving," not "pumpkin painting."

Suburban Chicago, October 1966. I display the pumpkin. I can't call it a "Jack-O-Lantern." Halloween was not a big deal at our house, so perhaps I wasn't aiming for holiday authenticity.